Inquiry into Authenticity
Recently, i have been looking at a thread from my level 2 ipsalu group, and wondering about the authenticity of one of those messages. there is the urge to reply, but i want to use this space to muse about it first. why? because i feel like my sharp tongue, which i don't seem to use very often, wants to come out and play. like Kali.
the issue of authenticity is up for me today. my authentic self/selves, and my apparent need to point out my opinion that someone is not being authentic. that certainly brings up the question of judgment. mmmm.
so, to focus back upon myself and my own authenticity. it seems like there is a deepening taking place, and this is just a point of departure. in order to know myself on this deeper level, i am looking at and questioning another's authenticity instead of my own. how interesting.
the authenticity in question must then be brought unto myself. whether or not i would be acting in a new way by voicing my view - and how - and would that be authentic for me. yes. i believe that may be the crux of the situation at this moment. in my past, it has been my way to keep quiet. now, in order to be more true to myself, i must find words and express myself. the depth of the authenticity, for me, therefore, lays in the way the words are chosen and then portrayed to the recipient(s). Some words seem to delve deeper into the multiplicity of layers of the psyche, understanding and language than others. There seems to be such a subtle way of communication in person...and finding words to offer via writing is new to me.
i don't know if a thesaurus is going to help in this case...but i feel like i've found my answer. it is in my most authentic interest to enter into the thread and share my experience.
posted by molly @ 7:19 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
That is an interesting question you pose: can you respond to a situation in a way that is fundamentally different from the way you typically have responded in the past and still be authentic?
For myself, I must answer that question "yes." To answer that question with any negative would be, ultimately, to limit and/or prevent change, growth and learning—which is why we are here in the first place, is it not?
So the question now delves a little bit deeper: perhaps the response we would have had in the past was not as authentic as we originally thought and, as you point out very nicely, perhaps the authenticity is not solely in the response-act itself, but in the intention of the response and the details of how we respond.
I find that I am changing in ways similarly to what you wrote: I am now (finally) learning to give my thoughts and feelings voice where once I would have remained silent–and understanding for myself that my feelings and thoughts are valid and have just as much right to be voiced and heard as anyone else's. And this has all happened only in the last few months as I have begun my Priest~ess studying there in Atlanta.
And, while I feel they are small steps and still struggle with feeling "late to the party" compared to others (the struggle comes in not comparing myself to others), I know that they are good, solid steps and in the right direction for who I really am.
Thank you for sharing, Molly.
I hope I get the chance to connect with you when I am in Atlanta for my next Priest~ess weekend.
Dear n8,
i appreciate your comments and feel supported by them. hope to see you again when you come to atlanta, too (let me know). btw, evelynn's b-day is tomorrow.
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