My Introduction To Tantra and Further Explorations

I was first introduced to the study of Tantra during a dream. The next morning, i went to my local bookseller, and in the second-hand room, found a small book which told the basics of tantra, including the history. (History of Tantra, Mumford). I read it and forgot about it.

Four years ago, a synchronistic series of events led me to a free concert by Raphael at right before the 4th of July. I went to the free concert, found out that Raphael and Kutira were really teachers of Oceanic Tantra (http://www.kahuainstitute.com/), and they were having another concert and long-weekend class. I had entered a very interesting vortex of energy, and was aware that the people i was meeting at that time would be woven into my life for awhile, if not indefinitely. So, i enrolled in the class and spent the next four days submersed in teachings. Two weeks later I met my Sufi teacher, then a week after that was involved in building a sweat lodge.

The next year rolled around, and i had shelved tantra since i didn't have a partner, and i was studying sufism. When i saw Kutira again, she basically told me that i didn't need a partner to practice tantra. What? i couldn't see how. The following year, i found a partner to explore a little with. During that time, I had found another reason to study tantra. Sexual healing. I had been raped as a child and had other unwelcomed advances from adults into my teenage years. At one time, my husband accused me to not enjoying sex. I didn't really want that label, so i did some exercises to help me remember what was blocking me. Of course, remembering being raped isn't fun. Nor is the lack of support from friends, family or my psychiatrist. I thought about my sexual history. I thought about my sexual patterns. Yep, i was a great candidate for some sexual healing. I chose people who had become my friends whom i had met in the community who were learning or adept at healing and gave myself permission to work through this with others. That winter, i was asked to be a "model" for one of my healers. We demonstrated at a private party, and again i was given the opportunity to push through barriers of cultural taboo and expand my awareness.

In the spring, Charles and Caroline Muir (http://www.sourcetantra.com/index.html) were here. I took that weekend class as well. It was more difficult for me this time. I was emotionally and at times physically involved with someone who wasn't willing to take the class. The homework included choosing someone from the class to work with intimately. Luckily, one of my male friends was taking the class, and became my 'homework' partner. Some wonderful meditations and stories unfolded from this course.

Over these years, i was reading a lot about Tantra, including Cultivating Female Sexual Energy and Sexual Reflexology by Mantuk Chia. More tantra for physical and emotional healing. I got involved in learning tai chi and qi gong. I was able to begin to cultivate and distribute energy with more ease. The internal practices of Sufism and tai chi seemed to compliment each other.

This April, Bodhi Avinasha came to Atlanta and did a Level 1 Course in the Ipsalu Kriya Yoga Tantra (http://www.tantrikainternational.com/). I had already read her books, Jewel In The Lotus and The Ipsalu Formula - Tantra Bliss. I took Level 1, and incorporated a new daily spiritual exercise. During that weekend, the energy was intense and wonderful. Lots of release work. I did tai chi to integrate the internal initiations i received. In June, I went to California and took the Level 2 with Bodhi and other teachers. The energy was subtle, and i really enjoyed myself, although there was some more emotional release work done there. During the level 2, i was counseled to take Sexual Wholeness. I balked. Not had i already done what i considered enough of that work by myself, i didn't have funds or the time. Not a good enough excuse. My calendar opened up and so i headed to Cincinnati in July. Sexual Wholeness put me in another realm. I learned to say "no". I learned how to listen closely to my body and honor it. I was supported by a small group of tantrikas dedicated to pushing out the edges of their comfort zones. The energy was amazing.

That brings me pretty much up-to-date on my personal history with tantra, although barely touches upon the esoteric, energetic and spiritual aspects, which i'll cover in another essay. Everyone finds their bliss following their own path. Sometimes it helps to follow the path others have cultivated, if it fits your needs. I've found many wonderful people on the tantric path. Each one entering into their tantic experience for their own personal reasons and needs.
namaste.