Inquiry Into Love via J Krishnamurti

It has been a couple of weeks since I finished two books by J Krishnamurti, This Light In Oneself and On Relationship. Although Krishnamurti didn't actually write these books himself, they are drawn from excerpts from his teachings and lectures around the world.

My impressions from these books is still unfolding. I tend to digest books, and really can't tell anyone verbatim what it is that was read. It's more like the book becomes part of me or my subconscious. What I did get so far from these books is that most people's perception of themselves the entity they call God, and love, is basically superficial. His argument is that man has created chaos in perpetuating beliefs and associations based on pleasure and selfishness. He points out that man's true nature needs to move towards something beyond this basic emotional plane. In order for man to advance and evolve (and not destroy himself and the earth), he must continually inquire about the true nature of himself and situations with a degree of ruthlessness that I have not encountered elsewhere.

The basic issue of inquiry into what is relationship, what constitutes love, and the outcome of continuing our collective behaviours without a serious inquiry, as left me looking even deeper into myself and my relationships with myself and others. A recent engagement party invitation was turned down because as I was reading this, I was in a place that I couldn't accept and be authentic to myself and celebrate. Although these books and the ideas behind them are important to me, I found myself feeling like something precious had been taken away. The preciousness of celebration and happiness for others, albeit superficial, and the naivete and unknowing being slowly replaced by a desire for the inquiry and journey to absolute truth. However, moving through these emotions, I also found myself wondering if I was judging others instead of looking at them compassionately. Finally, knowing that the only person and associated situations I can inquire into (i.e., motives, thinking, emotions) is myself.

Perhaps, as Krishnamurti suggests, that by deepening the inquiry we will eliminate the personal pain we have by allowing us to understand our motives before we act. In relationships to others, if we recognize our motives (pleasure), desires (self-gratification), etc., perhaps we will be less inclined to label them with the word "love". Perhaps we can find a deeper motive that will guide us through our lives.