When Someone Says, "I love you"

When someone says I love you - I tend to believe them. It is what the deepest part of my being wants to hear. When someone recently said, "I love you" and then followed with, "and I have loved you forever", my innermost being wanted to hear that, too, even more than anything else. I think that's why they said it. Because that it what i was longing to hear.

Then, looking at it for what it is, not knowing the intention behind the words, finds me looking deeper into myself. If the being in front of me is an empty reed, and spirit speaks through them, then I am truly loved.

And when the love in me responds - what happens then? Perhaps the words spiral deeper until truth is found and nothing else exists.

Negative/Neutral/Positive

Last weekend, I met some wonderful, new people. I was introduced to a Mayan timekeeper, Merrill, who i spent an extended amount of time with last Friday evening, and again on Saturday evening.

It began the week before, when my friend, Elizabeth, announced Merrill was in town. I had the feeling that Merrill had something to tell me, but wasn't sure it was something i really wanted to hear. But, being me, I had to find out.

Well, besides pointing out some wonderful things about the particular mayan calendar that Merrill was working with (the sacred calendar which deals with communities, tools and communication), Merrill asked permission to point out something in my character that was hindering me. I gave him an open door. Merrill gently told me that I used many negatives. It hit me hard, I cried, and i felt myself shift - knowing that what he told me was the truth. I also knew that if i tried and worked at shifting the use of negatives in my speech patterns and thought patterns, my life has the potential to drastically change.

Confronted with a newer, deeper level of examining my thought and speech patterns, i noticed that my mind/thoughts sped up and the flow of thoughts became more apparent. Then, I was noticing what I was thinking about, but also what words I was thinking. Then changing the word patterns became an effort. In a few days, i noticed i was slipping back into the old use of negatives. But having the potential to make a positive change keeps me examining and slowly changing the negatives i use to see if i can come up with different word patterns that might be more appropriate, neutral, or positive.

The opportunity to create more space for potentialities using neutral or positive word and thought patterns is very exciting to me.

A Different News Source

My brother recently sent me a link to an article on this site. Sad. That was his comment. The state of affairs certainly appears negatively represented. I spent a little time at the bioneers conference yesterday and experienced the same type of emotion. Like preaching to the choir. The best part about the conference was connecting with other caring, like-minded/hearted people.
Here's a link for an alternative news source.

Almost There

I've been working on my take-home Cherag work for two years now. It has been an interesting journey. For the readers who don't know, a Cherag is a facilitator of the Universal Worship Service, or a "minister" in the Sufi tradition.

Last night, my son made some disparaging comment about the dog eating some of my papers - actually Cherag work that had comments written on it - that i wanted to keep for review. His comment was something like, it's just paper - nothing important. Then, i proceeded to tell him what it was and he became somewhat impressed.

I am almost finished with the take-home study lessons. Just one more section, and I will have completed that part. There is more ahead of me - like getting comfortable facilitating services. Hopefully, not just Worship services, but perhaps others will seek out other Services as well. I wonder sometimes if this is really what i am supposed to be doing. It seems like it has taken a while to complete, and actually, i feel like a know less now than i did before. Actually, i might know more, but it's just like a being a jack of all trades - where i know a little about a lot of different religions and traditions, but am proficient at none. I have slightly more background with traditional christian and jewish traditions, because i have studied them for many years. However, there are parts of me that resonate with the goddess, native/indigenous and Zoroastrian traditions.

One of the musings i've had as i look to complete this work, is whether or not i have the discipline to keep delving in this area. I have felt distracted by my mundane life - my children, my work, my personal life. I feel myself pulling away from part of that in order to complete this project.

My guide, Musawwir, suggested that this is the area (Cherag work) i should focus on, and so i have. However, i still haven't felt my own inner knowing accepting this as my path, or the place where my energy will focus. Perhaps it is a stepping stone of sorts, or a tool for my toolbelt, as i grow into the being i am becoming.