Restless

I'm restless. I have tons to do, but don't seem able to focus on any one thing for very long. What's up? Well, maybe it's having four boys running around all day...i don't know.

Part of it is that my routine has been altered, and not exactly the way i would have it. i.e., not enough exercise, washing machine malfunctions, too much television on in the house, no regular meditation, not allowing myself booty calls. Hmmm. Maybe it's just frustration and a bit of stir crazy from being inside too much. . . finishing up my end-of-year business stuff, etc.

Well, i've had this before. Usually it shows up more in the spring time. I get the urge to move somewhere. Sell the house, get out of dodge. Usually it just passes. I used to have a friend who would get it around the same time as me. We'd binge together. Usually, during the year, we would walk together - in a work-out kind of way. Then, one day in the spring, we'd look at each other and then that was it. I'd usually go get a bottle of Tangeray and tonic or we'd go someplace and sit outside and sip many margaritas (ta-kill-ya) (within walking distance). Those days have been long gone... aaahhh, youth.

Maybe i'm just wondering what's next in store. There's really no drama in my life right now - or if there is, it's something i'm in denial about. I'm not up for fighting or looking for a cause. People with causes seem to always want to win. . . and have win/lose mentalities. More duality.
I'd rather see a win/win/no-deal format. Who knows how to do that here in Atlanta? Anyone want to practice conscious communication?

I'm in the process of working on my Cherag studies. Perhaps just focusing on that and getting things put away should be enough to keep me busy over the next few weeks. Sometimes i wish the universe would just give me a job. Those kind of jobs don't usually pay anything, but hey, at least i feel there is a purpose. Maybe my new job is to be purpose-less. Learning how to live with What Is isn't as easy as it sounds...to me.