No, Nope, Nada, Zilch

I'm listening to cartoons in the periphery. Take no prisoners was something I just heard. Maybe that's what's going on here, too.

I've been saying "no" a lot lately. Not that I want to, but it seems like sometimes that's the first thing out of my mouth. After reviewing some of those "no-s", I'm wondering if I pause in reflection before saying anything, whether my response will shift. Of course, it could become a more emphatic "NO". Sometimes, with Sam, my nine-year-old, I have to go into the No song. (no no no no no no, and then higher, no no- no no -no no- no-no-no) Maybe i'm dating myself. Sometimes, perhaps last week, I turned to him and said, "What part of - no - don't you get? the N part or the O part?" Not too nice, or adultish, is it? But jeepers, now I know why my mother wanted a tape recorder!

Sometimes I have to swallow my "no". That doesn't feel to good, either. Or bite my tongue. Yikes.

There's been tons of times when I've said "yes" ---sometimes to my detriment. Maybe i'm just perfecting my "no-ability".

Aaaaahhhhh

It's Friday - yea!
My friend, Dee Dee called me yesterday to check in. She said she had checked the blog and i hadn't written anything since last Wednesday. Ooopps. Sometimes (mostly) i don't think people read these. Mostly i'm writing for myself - because it's partially compulsion...partially because i want to practice writing for future publication possibilities, and partially so i don't forget what i've done.

I have procured a new piece of jewelry and i am so happy with it. My friend, Tal, is a jewelry designer. She's also on the Native Path, and a Shaman. She and her partner, Billy gave me the opportunity to build a sweatlodge a few years ago (wrote about it in one of my first posts). It's a beautiful piece that i commissioned, she made it for me...and i received it from her today. What a beautiful way to begin the weekend.

Old Poetry - Letting It Go

The love was found
Nestled in the chaos of emotions.
I recognized it's golden glow.
Separated from everything else,
It stands alone like a crystal or star.

Sam says people don't know what love is,
Since science hasn't proven it.

So I took the shard of love and used it,
Swirling it into a space,
Creating a galaxy
That looks a bit like this
One you're in now.

This Should Be Funny

Maybe it's a bit overdone. You decide. Check
it out.

Storms a Plenty

Pir Vilayat Khan talked about something like tempests in our teacups, or something like that. Perhaps that's what's been happening here this weekend. I've stirred up the cuppa. The weather here did it too.

A very large tree fell on my parent's home on Saturday. A big live white oak. I've been telling them that if it were me, I'd have it removed. Last Friday, i told them again that it was going to fall. Maybe i shouldn't say things like that. It feel on Saturday morning...after the big storm. No one was hurt, though my mom was very shook up. It was a big adventure watching the tree men take it down yesterday. We had a kinda' driveway party next door.

Tempests in my teacups too. I wanted to go meet a qigong master who is being brought down to Atlanta by a friend. I thought it would be okay to look into it, that i was clear that things were more than over between us. The weekend proved me wrong on that count. Aaah well. More time and more water needs to move under this bridge, or perhaps i need to find another way to feel about it.

I wonder if emotions follow the brain's thoughts, or vice versa...or if i can understand each independently.

Spring Cleaning

Lately, i've been in purge mode. I've been in the closets, drawers, and toychests and bookshelves. We've had bags go to friends and some to the dump.

For the past few days, i've been doing an internal cleanse. This is not my first, but it seems like the most profound for me. I did a 2 day Arden's Garden de-tox, and for one day, i made my own master cleanse. All three days, i worked with the Yogi teas - fasting, detox and elimination. So, basically i got cleaned out. I gave up caffeine a few days prior to the cleanse, and was careful not to overeat. The Arden's Garden de-tox is a gallon of distilled water mixed with fresh organic grapefruit, orange, and lemon juice. The Master Cleanser is distilled water, fresh lemon juice, a bit of good maple syrup, and cayanne pepper.

One of the wierdest things i noticed was that i was hardly ever hungry. When i did get hungry, it was only for about five minutes. I got to notice when i wanted to eat - and that was when i was feeling stressed out or emotional...which luckily was only a couple times on the second day.

The first night was tough. Not because i was hungry, but because i was in so much pain. I didn't expect pain from a simple cleanse, but it happened. It felt like my kunda was throbbing, and it went up my back. I've never really experienced back pain like that before. I wondered if i should find a chiropractor, but by the morning it was almost all gone. I understand from one of my friends that this is fairly common with fasting...and it was good that i rode it out. Perhaps there were a lot of neuro toxins that were being released. Good. Doing yoga stretches, meditation, and qigong helped relieve the pain, too.

Last night, i broke the fast with a nice plate of food after an Ipsalu Satsang. Twenty people who had received the cobra breath initiation came to get together to practice, and have a pot luck afterwards. It was a very nice, supportive environment.

So far, i am only eating raw food - and will probably move on to a more normal diet tomorrow.